My father died a little over 2 years ago. He and I were close. Fortunately, I’m at that stage now, when I think of him, that “a smile comes to my face before a tear comes to my eye.”  But I still miss him, especially when things are a bit rough.

He had a wonderful way of letting me know that he understood what I was going through, and he would put his arm on my shoulder and say, “It will be OK.”  I don’t know how he did it, but he was always right. His encouragement and validation will stay with me forever.  What a gift!

Those you leave behind will mourn. You will be missed. Those who love you will be in pain.  And though you won’t be physically there to put your arm around those who miss you and say, “It will be OK,” you can still provide love, encouragement and validation even after you die. You do that by letting them know, while you are still alive, what you want them to do for you if and when you can no longer let anyone know what your wishes are.

A living will, Healthcare Power of Attorney or Do Not Resuscitate Order provides not only instructions, but is a gift to your family.  It says, “I trust you.  I know you’ll make the right decision. “And when your family does make that decision, they’ll know they did so with your blessing.  You may not be able to leave a fortune to your family, but you can leave them something even more important – the knowledge that they did the right thing, and all the good feelings that go with that.